Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
