But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
