do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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