Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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