He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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