could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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