in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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