Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this boner is exhausting
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
