"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
