She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
