We're facebook friends in real life
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
