The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
