He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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