Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
