Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
