this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
