Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm always down for nudity.
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