I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
