Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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