i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
