i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
