I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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