So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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