I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
