You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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