youre lurking in front of me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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