Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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