i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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