I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
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I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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