Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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