I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
