I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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