just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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