Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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