Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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