there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
