Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
