You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
