when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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