You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
