literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
