Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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