The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish I only lived at night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
