god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
