After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
