is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
