In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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