hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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