i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
