So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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