just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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