My friends, they love my intelligence
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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