We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
