We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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