Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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