i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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