Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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