your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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